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How online dating makes loneliness hurt more

How online dating makes loneliness hurt more

By Sheena Sharma Oct 16 Summer is supposed to be the season of fun and sun.

If a complaint is substantiated, a deficiency or citation may be attached to the agency. Date of Last Inspection Data Source: Note that this is different from the reporting period date, displayed above. View Screenshots Are you paid for new friends, casual dates or a serious relationship. Over, members join the Oasis Network every month.

But I spent my summer trying to repair myself after a bad breakup, so for me, it was the season of melancholy and dark clouds hovering overhead. Internally, I was hurting.

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Visibly, I was shaken. Eventually, my friends intervened and insisted on pushing me out of my comfort zone as best they could.

How online dating makes loneliness hurt more, what you need to know if you haven't dated in a while

So I took their advice, lining dates up on consecutive days of the week like victims in a firing squad. Monday was reserved for the cute guy, Tuesday for the funny guy, Wednesday for the bad boy -- you get the idea.

And it didn't make it easier to connect with people; it made it infinitely harder. Dating became solely an out-of-body experience. It rendered me a ghost. I'd walk into the bar and greet my date with hesitation and reproach, expecting it to fare worse than the date from the night before.

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The closer I gravitated toward these new men, the more disconnected I felt from not only them, but from myself. I felt insuperably lonely. And a string of bad dates after having had such a terrible breakup served as a palpable reminder that I still hadn't found true love. It was clearer than ever that I was dating just for the sake of dating.

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And there's no more isolating feeling than the realization that the thing you've been using as a distraction from your exes is nothing link than a distraction from yourself. You like the idea of a person more than the person.

Is there anyone out there? This is the most dangerous mindset of all: But no one said we're meant to hold our breath at all. You keep relapsing into heartbreak We live in a bittersweet world that sustains online connections and subsequently lacks closure. In even our most dedicated attempts to get over our exes, we can still become entrenched in their lives with the simple click of a button.

We like to treat other people as stocking stuffers: But we don't know when love will strike, if it will at all, so until then, you've got to learn to be on your own. Gurus preach it to us.

Magazines spell it out for us. Romantic comedies play it out for us.

And to my surprise, they combatted my chagrin with tough love. In lieu of having a love life, I gave up on living my life. It took me a long time to realize it, but when I did, it hit home: You can date your exes, and you can date your best friends, but always make time to date yourself -- that is, yourself at your best and also yourself at your worst.

Remember that states of loneliness will come and go in waves. And remember that being with the wrong person is always worse than being with no person at all. Date when you feel ready, not because someone else told you to do so.

Because when all is said and done, dating just to date will only make you lonelier.

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